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Laszlo Xalieri

Draft for a part of a product description for a work in progress. Please disregard.

Misery fluid. In the bottle you’ll find—assuming the seal holds and the Post Office has been kind—approximately 1.5 oz./45 mm of mostly water. The bulk of this water is from a natural source, in perpetual shade, from the Atchafalaya Basin in the vicinity of Bayou Teche, in what’s currently Louisiana (politically), Acadiana (culturally), and (geographically and geologically) a historical and probable future channel of the Mississippi River. This water was harvested from its source during totality of the lunar eclipse of March 13th – 14th, 2025. Added to the bayou water are a generous few drops of the following: Water from a water pipe which was used to smoke tobacco. For the curious, the tobacco in question was Cornell & Diehl’s “Mad Fiddler Flake” blend. Highly recommended if you partake. A good strong coffee. Most likely Community Coffee’s “Breakfast Blend”—I wasn’t paying too much attention—but allowed to sit out overnight, open, during the aforementioned eclipse, in hopes that it might attract and hold a particular kind of attention. Residue from a largely evaporated sample of WhistlePig’s “PiggyBack” rye whiskey, left outside overnight with the coffee. Water containing a partially dissolved piece of hard candy flavored with licorice root, left outside overnight with the coffee and rye whiskey. In addition to the natural microbes and microflora of the bayou water—or at least those that survived the addition of the other ingredients—other items of unspecified biological ...
... may not be included due to runoff and soil drainage, not to mention certain biological elements of human origin that may or may not have been deliberately added. It may be best to not demand specific details. Regardless, and in summary, Do Not Drink the Misery Fluid. Do not cause anyone else, by deliberate action or reckless negligence, cause any other human or animal to consume the Misery Fluid. It’s not even a good idea to pour the Misery Fluid onto any plant or fungal life you care about, especially if it is intended for eventual human or animal consumption. Safety can in no way be guaranteed. If you need to dispose of the Misery Fluid, you can probably flush it down your toilet or sink with no repercussions. Make sure there are no clogs or constrictions first, and flush with plenty of water before and after.
#MiseryWater#DarkArts#Ingredients
Mar 09, 2025, 01:15 PM·Public·Web
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