I’ve gotten a few new followers lately, and I want to be clear about where I’m at.
My family and I are in the aftermath of gang violence that targeted us for our decolonial work, because it threatened their control... followed by doxxing from settlers for the exact same.
My cat was killed as a threat, and we had to abandon not just our personal possessions, but our seed bank, our herbalist equipment: materials and tools we'd spent years gathering in preparation for the kind of work we know needs to be done. I'd already had my identification papers taken by the state years prior, but for the rest of my family, getting them back has been a hassle.
We’re okay because we have each other. We've got housing, and there's food banks in the city we moved to.
But we lost a lot: stability, safety, and the support of people who decided they’d rather funnel money to NGOs that do nothing than to individuals who “fail” in public.
I’m actually glad to know the circle of accomplices is smaller than I thought: better to see that now, before things get even stranger.
(And I have to say, it's almost entirely white and settler folk who stepped back their support. Interesting how folk view a native who will teach them how to garden as good politics, but when that native's own garden is threatened, good politics means staying away from something so messy.)
But the reality is, I’m up debt creek without an income, and a lot of the things I used to make money, like my microgreens equipment, is gone. What I'm getting through Substack and Ko-fi isn't outpacing the interest on my card, and so I'm getting *further* from being able to do that stuff, not closer. Which is a bummer not just for the strain it puts on my life, but because I think doing that sort of stuff (microgreens, making yogurt), as a disabled person, is one of the better things I can bring to our messed up co-existence. That and my writing, which I'm trying to be more consistent about sharing - that's probably why you're seeing this post in the first place.
If you’ve got the means, this is a moment where material support matters. If you can’t give, signal boosting helps too.
https://ko-fi.com/emsenn
$emsenn0 on CashApp and Venmo
boost, and if you can, give. We need your assistance and you'll be saving our lives.
Pretending to be a 
